Angry squirrel
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Residents of New York City borough’s Rego Park neighborhood report an aggressive squirrel is attacking citizens in random ambushes on unsuspecting denizens. Micheline Frederick told reporters the nutty squirrel jumped from a tree and sank its teeth in her fingers.

‘We’re wrestling in the snow and there’s blood everywhere and my fingers getting chewed and it won’t let go. Eventually, it just stopped and there I was a big bloody mess.”

Micheline Frederick noted the creature seemed unusually angry but she fought it with every ounce of strength she could muster.

“I had my hand around its body and I could not get this thing off. It was angry, vicious and incredibly strong.”

Frederick says the beast clamped onto her hand and wouldn’t let go. She eventually shook the squirrel off only to watch it run up a tree, stop, and stare back down at her.

“This was an MMA cage match! And I lost!”

New York City’s Department of Health laid traps for the psycho squirrel but thus far, have failed to catch the critter. They say small rodents like squirrels rarely carry rabies.

Regardless, Frederick has preparted for future attacks.

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“I’m wearing my heavy gloves now. Bring it on.”

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